Since I have been writing fiction novels people have asked me one main question, why did I write a particular story? So for my next few blogs I’m going to answer the question. The following blog coming later in the week will actually be extremely personal on why I wrote Straight with Options, but I’m cool with letting you inside my thought process just a little bit.

In May 2006, I self published my first fiction novel, The First Blow. Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect writing such an explicit story and I was nervous as to what people would think about it. It was also my trial and error as far as allowing the public to read my work. Thankfully it did okay and I traveled to a few places talking about the story.

The First Blow deals with an African American professional couple who finds romance and love with one another. Like most romances start off, it was good and the sex was amazing. But over time something changed in both characters. The male character, Anthony Kyle Waters became possessive as well as verbally and physically abusive to his partner, Pamela Lynnette Crosby. I had to tackle some issues of domestic violence that literally felt like a dark cloud hung over my head while I wrote the more abusive scenes. Quite frankly, some of it was very difficult for me to write about.

A lot of people who read the book automatically assumed that the story was loosely about me because of how I wrote the story so explicitly. But I say it again, it was not based on my life or anyone else’s life that I knew of. I just needed to write about a subject that exists even in the African American community. Fact is, when I looked at talk shows and if the topic dealt with domestic violence, the guests were usually from other races and very rarely from the black folks. I knew then that I had to write about it because I felt that even though we don’t see it, doesn’t mean that it’s not there.

As black women, we’re the first to say, “Oh no, there is no way a man is going to lay a hand on me. I would hurt him bad and it would be over!” We say it and mean it, but as black women we have been taught to be strong, courageous and an abusive man is a no, no. But I also realized that because we are so strong that if abuse did occur in our relationships, we would cover it up so that others wouldn’t think that we are weak by allowing someone to abuse us. So I thought from the perspective of, there are probably some beautiful and strong black women out there who have yielded to the hands of an abuser, but are too ashamed to talk openly about it. They probably stay in the situation because of fear and because they don’t want anyone else to know.

I have learned that we don’t always know who we fall in love with and most times signs of abuse are more evident once our hearts are involved. It doesn’t make you weak, it just means that you fell for the wrong person. I have also come to understand from talking to women who have come out and shared that The First Blow was their story, that you can come out stronger and better than ever. When I began to hear so many stories from black women about their abuse, then I knew I wrote the right story. All I can say is, sometimes there are small signs of potential abuse and if you see red flags all over the place, heed to them and get out fast.

At present, I’m working on the sequel to The First Blow because people want to get deeper into the life and mind of Anthony Kyle Waters to figure out how he got so crazy. So look out for that, it’s coming. You can also still buy the book!

As a writer of novels, I create subject matter that is real to life even though the stories I tell are fiction. I enjoy doing this, whether the storyline is difficult or fairly easy to expound upon, because I believe that most if not all things should be discussed in life.

My first novel, The First Blow, dealt with domestic violence issues within the African American household and some content that I wrote about was extremely difficult for me to bring to life, but I did. I felt that it was necessary to show that even though domestic violence in the black community is rarely discussed, I felt that it existed and I told the story.

So in light of thinking about so many various topics to consider writing about, I thought about one that maybe we all can think on. I’m not sure if I will directly write about it, but here it goes. To keep from making this too heavy, I thought about the recent passing of Patrick Swayze.

I wondered to myself, what did people have to say about him at his funeral. Did they say kind and loving things at his funeral that they also shared with him while he was living?

So then I wondered, what would people say about me, not when I pass on, but while I’m still here to hear their thoughts and feelings. Then I wondered, what would I want people to say about me now or later?

Many things have gone through my head and overall I think I would want people to say, whether I’m living or gone on, that I’m a kind hearted person who loved life, family and people from all walks of life. Not only that, but that I am determined, humble and willing to give of myself.

I would love hearing about the novels I wrote or about an R&B tune or gospel tune I sang that touched their heart. Be mindful that wanting to hear true and kind things about ourselves from others is not arrogance, it’s just wanting to know that we are living lives that positively impact others and maybe makes someone smile along the way.

So I send these questions out to you:

• What do you want people to say about you?
• Do you want them to make up words that make you feel good or words that are true (good or bad)?
• Would people say kind things about you living and/or dead and mean them?

Think about it and post your comments on my page and let me know what you think.